| I have a confession to make.
Burnout isn’t a thing for me.
I mean, I know what it is. I know when I’m flirting with it. So I have trained myself to stop being its victim. I decided to stop playing that game.
Not falling prey to burnout isn’t exactly the norm in the world of entrepreneurial mothers.
Managing a household, running multiple businesses, mothering two children, producing a podcast and big events….opening a school…..the work literally never ends. So, how do I do it? How do I hold, produce, and accomplish so much without running myself completely ragged?
I increase my capacity so that I can do more, receive more, and expand sustainably.
I am asked the question, “How do you do so much” so frequently that I decided to answer them in a 70 minute class for the Matriarch Rising Virtual Festival.
You can buy your ticket here (the festival drops tomorrow, today is the last day to buy!), but in the meantime, I thought I’d send a summary of the talk to my newsletter subscribers since I appreciate you all so much.
I love sharing what works for me. Your success is my success, and mine yours.
Here we go!
Foundations of Sustainable Expansion: Increasing Your Capacity to Receive More
with Emilee Saldaya, Founder of FBS & MRF
There are 10 main pillars that I’ve used to build the foundation upon which I bring life to each and every one of my big dreams. I have been practicing these tools for over 10 years, primarily learning from the Conscious Leadership Group and along with a variety of other coaches, mentors, and authors.
Familiarizing myself with the power of these pillars in both my body and my mind has propelled me into such an incredible state of abundance.
My marriage is thriving. My husband and I own land that we raise our two beautiful children on. I have created 5 successful companies – (3 of which are Free Birth Society, Matriarch Rising Festival, and COSM Academy!). I have built 3 homes that I rent out to amazing families. I employ 10 people full-time. I was able to retire my husband 3 years ago so that he could be home with us. I’ve built a 7 figure business out of nothing. The list goes on!
Without these 10 pillars, burnout and overwhelm could very well have kept my many varied dreams from materializing. Instead, I have been able to maintain a lightness of being that allows me to flow.
I want this for you, too. There’s nothing special about me, other than perhaps my embodiment of what I share in my talk, “Sustainable Expansion”.
Let’s dive in.
Pillar 1 – Soft Talk
Imagine a world where YOU are your biggest cheerleader…
I’ve worked really hard to be my greatest ally; to love myself, accept myself, and be my own friend. Learning how to speak softly and kindly to yourself radically transforms how you orient to your body, and to your life overall.
The opposite of soft talk is the strong inner critic. The first thing you need to know is that the strong inner critic – the voice that speaks heavy words of toxicity and doubt – isn’t you. The inner critic repeats a script that was taught to you by others, the overculture, etc. Identifying the voice of the inner critic is crucial so that you can stop feeding the beast. Notice the voice without believing it, and it will starve.
The ability to disconnect from false beliefs and nasty thoughts/judgments creates a lightness and awareness within. This in turn creates space to acknowledge any mistakes you might have made without beating yourself up about it, which then results in less fear surrounding risk-taking and imperfection.
Source your own security, approval, and control from within to free up creativity and love.
Pillar 2 – Energy Management
Energy management refers to getting very familiar with what vitalizes you and what drains you. It’s actually fairly simple to work this out. Spend a few days mapping out your routines and activities. Look at what drains you, and then consider what you’re willing to drop. If you aren’t willing to drop these current draining commitments, then you can own your commitment to stay drained. When you own it, the charge surrounding it is far, far less.
The intention behind doing less of what drains you and more of what vitalizes you is the freeing up of life force energy. When you do things that give you energy, you have more to give. When you do things that take your energy, you have less to give – be it creativity or actual presence. Managing your daily activities in this way makes you wise to the ways of your energy input and output.
Pillar 3 – Dream Work
Daydreaming and fantasizing have been so helpful for me when it comes to unlocking my own caps of what I think might be possible. Letting yourself dream is an invitation for your creativity to take center stage. Anything is possible and everything is allowed.
Sister MorningStar asks pregnant mothers this question at her village prenatals: “What is your dream birth?” A dream birth isn’t seeded in a birth plan framework, nor is it a checklist or any sort of rationalization based in your 3D reality. Your dream life is no different.
I love to ask myself: “What is my dream life? What is my dream marriage? What is my dream work situation? What is my dream relationship with my children?”
I ask myself these questions, and I then allow myself to answer them imaginatively, creatively, and freely. My only goal is to see just how good I can allow myself to feel in my dream life. I constantly check in: “Am I willing to let myself imagine how good it can be?”
There are no filters needed when doing dream work. How epic can your dreams get? The answer becomes your north star.
Pillar 4 – Wonder Questions
Wonder questions are rooted in co-creative consciousness. They are a part of prompting your dreams to come forth unhindered. The potency behind wonder questions is that you’re not planning – you’re dreaming. They place you in “above the line consciousness,” which is a creative state. You’re not trying to logically figure something out. You’re not trying to be realistic. You’re simply in a state of pure wonder, free to try on different options and outcomes as you please.
Some examples of wonder questions are:
“I wonder how we can make more than enough money and both stay home?” (This is a real wonder question that my husband and I asked ourselves just prior to making this exact dream our reality.)
“I wonder how I could make a million dollars this year?”
“I wonder what it would feel like to have a book published?”
The beauty of basic practices that center on getting your mind to think about things in a softer, more hopeful way is that the results are SO available to you. They are literally right there! They are so close, in fact, that you are the only barrier to having them or not.
Pillar 5 – Be The Resolution
This is one of the most profound commitments I have worked with. “Am I willing to be the resolution I am seeking”, is bound to bring you lots of insight, regardless of if you get a yes, or a no!
Pillar 6 – Taking Things Lightly | There Are No Problems
One of the most fun tools I work with is the willingness to consider that everything that is unfolding in my life is here for me and my learning.
It immediately shifts my first thought of, “this is a problem”, to taking it lightly. What if this *wasn’t* a problem at all, and instead, here for my learning?
Trying on these questions during the worst situations of my life has changed my entire orientation to the universe and freed up so much space for my allying with my life.
Using questions like:
What if this wasn’t a problem?
How did I co-create this situation?
How is what is unfolding for me?
What is here for my learning?
Why did I bring this into my life?
Suddenly, thanks to your new perception, there are no problems.
Pillar 7 – Good Enough
My “good enough” philosophy is not only the antithesis to perfectionism, but I am quite sure is the reason that I am able to accomplish as much as I do.
Perfectionism is defined by an impossible standard that you, the perfectionist, cannot achieve.
Perfectionism, thus, is actually an abusive strategy to keep yourself down. We *use* the strategy to avoid putting our work out there!
When you get interested in loving yourself, learning soft talk, and letting go of the perfectionist, you can practice good enough and free up a whole lot of space (and you’ll actually get your work out there).
Pillar 8 – Achievable Goals
While the name of this pillar speaks for itself, the reasoning behind it deserves an explanation. Set achievable goals for yourself. Why? Because the more you are able to experience the positive feedback loop of achievement, the more likely you are to expand your capacity to achieve bigger and better things.
What small things can you do every day to create your dream life? Keep the perfectionist out of it. Soft talk yourself into action. Allow your wonder to lead the way. Before you know it, making your dreams real will become a very achievable goal that is actually within reach!
Pillar 9 – Upper Limit Problem
This pillar is inspired by the work of Gay Hendricks, and is all about just how good you allow yourself to feel. As adults, when we move up and above our thermostat setting, we are hardwired to cap ourselves with a thought. This thought then results in an action that brings us back down to where most of us are comfortably miserable.
When you cap yourself with a thought, it will seem safe to stay where you’re most comfortable. You’ll start to talk yourself down as a protective measure, using phrases like, “This is too good to be true,” or, “This is too risky.” Feeling expansive and vulnerable feels scary – but that’s where your dream life lies.
This integrative practice is essential because it tells your animal body, nervous system, and consciousness that you don’t have to cap out as a result of reaching new levels of expansion. You can be here. You can feel good.
Pillar 10 – Lane of Genius
This final pillar is all about you and your innate abilities. You may still need to identify them explicitly, but they exist. Taking time to examine all of these parts of you and place them into two-dimensional quadrants is the most effective way to determine your lane of genius.
Take a piece of paper, and draw four quadrants – one big square divided into four small squares. Write the word “genius” in the first square, “excellence” in the second square, “competent” in the third square, and “incompetent” in the fourth square.
Believing that you need to continue doing the things that are in the bottom two quadrants blocks you from moving out of drain states and achieving more. Choosing to stay focused on the upper two quadrants will keep you focused on that which vitalizes you and brings you closer to success.
You’ll have to buy the class for the in depth lesson here, because well, it’s just worth it.
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You are infinite and full of creative potential.
There are no shortcuts, but when you know what you’re up to and do it with full devotion, you will succeed.
That’s how life works!
You will be given countless opportunities to enjoy your life and actualize your biggest dreams when you have an open mind and heart.
I hope you enjoyed and benefited from this summarization of the 10 Pillars. Join the Matriarch Rising Virtual Festival to hear me explain them face to face along with personal examples of how I use each and every pillar in my daily life.
Cheers to your sustainable expansion!
Much Love,
Emilee |
